


lo que siento (what i feel)

by starryeyedauthor



Category: La Reina del Sur (TV), Queen of the South
Genre: Angst, Cartels, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Jeresa, Requested, book of drabbles, i would die for this ship, lots of requests, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:39:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14201165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedauthor/pseuds/starryeyedauthor
Summary: A collection of drabbles, all centering around James and Teresa. A combination of my own ideas and the requests sent in on a tumblr. Angst, fluff, friendship, love, fighting, everything that makes our favorite duo who they are.





	1. james and teresa suarez

 

“Are you ready?” 

 

Teresa started slightly, Camila’s low drawl somehow sounding loud in the quiet of the large room. Standing there in front of the mirror, dressed in a long elaborate gown and heels that made her a few inches taller, Teresa could feel apprehension running all over her. 

 

Murmuring her confirmation, she quickly put on her silver hoops, clipping them into her ears before following the woman out of the room. 

 

“Remember, you’re not Teresa Mendoza tonight. You’re a clueless housewife who loves her husband. Do whatever it takes to gain the trust of the women at this gala.” 

 

Camila’s words, repeated for what felt like the one hundredth time made Teresa nod anxiously, her stomach turning at the thought of screwing this up. She had been shot at, assaulted, kidnapped, swallowed twenty one baggies of drugs without a complaint. Somehow, ages ago she had managed to pull all of that off. But her task tonight felt too personal. 

 

Their heels clicked against the tiles as they made their way to the foyer, eyes meeting James and Pote. Teresa’s cautious gaze ran over James, taking in the sight of the dark haired drug runner dressed in an expensive suit. 

 

“This shouldn’t be too hard for you Teresa, playing the naive girl who only cares about clothes and the man she’s with,” Camila reminded, her crimson lips curling upwards. “Just pretend he’s Guero.” 

 

Teresa’s eyes hardened at the comment and she gave Camila a cold look, trying to conceal the way her heart sank in her chest. She glanced over to the side to see James with a clenched jaw and waited for him to speak, not trusting herself to restrain herself from snapping at Camila. 

 

“Let’s go,” He directed, opening the door for Teresa and motioning for her to move. 

 

She stepped out, followed by James as he pushed his fingers together, cracking his knuckles. By now Teresa knew that meant he was either thinking hard or craving a smoke and she kept quiet, sliding into the car wordlessly and going over her targets, women she needed to befriend for the night. 

 

She had never been all that good at making friends. She thought of Brenda and her heart ached painfully. Nothing would ever make that ache go away. 

 

When she didn’t speak, James glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You alright?” 

 

She nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Let’s do this.” 

 

* * *

 

As James tosses the keys to the valet with a nod, they start to climb up the steps to the house, Teresa walking carefully in her heels while James slows down to match her speed. The house is extravagant, larger than the one they’re staying in themselves, with high arched windows taking up most of the space, giving Teresa and James a glimpse into the party. 

 

“The woman in the blue dress is who you’re going to be sticking by,” James instructed, nodding at a pretty brunette woman who was laughing brightly, a glass of champagne in her hand. 

 

They paused at the door, James taking a moment to peer down at Teresa, taking note of the nerves in her eyes. “Remember. We’re different people tonight..” 

 

With those final words, the two stepped into the house. Teresa’s eyes roamed over everything, memorizing everything she could see, the guests, the servers, several exits from the main room. Her eyes were caught on the beautiful banister that curved up towards a second floor when James slipped his hand into hers, intertwining their fingers wordlessly. 

 

Teresa took a deep breath, watching the woman in the blue dress approach them as James grabbed a glass of champagne off a carried tray, handing it to Teresa. The look he gave her told her what he was thinking.  _ Relax.  _

 

It was right at that moment that she decided to lean into the strangeness of it all. If she was going to do this, she had to do it right. 

 

Smiling sweetly at James, Teresa thanked him, breaking their hands apart to stroke his cheek and peer up at him with her soft doe eyes. 

 

James raised a brow for a second, but the look was gone as soon as he saw the woman approaching from the corner of his eye. Grabbing the hand Teresa had cupping his cheek, he brought it to his lips, kissing it softly before turning to face the woman, pretending he had just caught sight of her. 

 

“Hello,” She trilled happily, eyes glancing between the two of them in delight. “If you two aren’t the cutest thing I have ever seen! Are you newly weds?” 

 

James chuckled lowly and they pretended to exchange a glance of amusement, “Not at all, my wife and I have been married for a few years now.” 

 

“Hm,” The woman murmured, eyes roaming over the way Teresa leaned into his side. “Well color me jealous! I don’t believe we’ve met before, I’m the hostess of this little gathering. Diana Elwood,” She introduced, smiling broadly and shaking hands with both. 

 

“James Suarez,” James introduced, lips curling up at the corners. “This is my wife Teresa.” 

 

Teresa smiled politely, hoping to emit an air of amiability. After all, she needed this woman to trust her. “It’s so nice to meet you.” 

 

* * *

Standing in a group of wealthy people, Teresa laughed quietly as one of the women finished telling a story. 

 

“Well, I’d say nows a better time than any for us gentlemen to head to the study, leave these ladies to discuss all the things we do wrong,” Leanne’s husband declared, eyes glimmering with amusement when his wife pretended to be appalled by the thought. 

 

As several of the men began to leave, Charles paused, nodding at James. “James, come along. I have some cigars I think you’ll like,” He murmured, patting James on the back before striding away.

 

As the group began to disintegrate, distracted by food or other guests, James slid a hand underneath Teresa’s jaw, cupping her face gently. 

 

She knew what was about to happen, but still, she felt her heart jump in her chest when his lips met hers, surprisingly gentle as he kissed her sweetly, like they had done this a thousand times and he still couldn’t get enough. They stayed intertwined for just a moment too long, lips brushing together as they pulled apart gradually. 

 

With only a couple of inches between them James looked taken aback, clearing his throat slightly. Leaning down and pretending to kiss her cheek, he murmured quietly. “Get her talking now.” 

 

As he pulled away, Teresa could feel the absence of warmth, watching him for a moment before Diana caught her attention. 

 

“Oh honey, look at you, you’re flushed,” She giggled, just loud enough for James to hear, a small smirk gracing his face as he headed up the steps. 

 

Teresa put a smile on her face, tucking her hair behind her ear as if she was shy about her affection. 

 

“God, 4 years into your marriage and still getting all those butterflies? You’ve got tell me your secret,” Diana murmured, linking their arms together and leading her away. “You are just the sweetest thing. And your husband? Lord knows I love Charles but there’s something about a man that’s tall dark and handsome that just drives a girl wild.” 

 

Teresa’s smiled politely as the woman just kept on talking. This was the easy part about chatty housewifes. She rarely had to say much to get them to share details of their lives. That, and the fact that what she was saying wasn’t entirely wrong. James pulled off the dark and dangerous persona flawlessly, but it was the man underneath all of that who would always put Teresa at ease and make her smile when she was going crazy. 

 

They headed upstairs before Diana led them onto a beautiful balcony, the cool air hardly bothering Teresa as she gazed at the view in surprise. 

 

“Pretty, isn’t it? Charles had this house designed perfectly,” Diana murmured, sounding slightly nostalgic enough the Teresa took her chance to prod slightly. 

 

“How long have you two been married?” She asked softly, leaning against the balcony and watching Diana sip her drink. 

 

The woman laughed, her blue eyes gazing at the sky before she answered. “Long enough that things aren’t still so honeymooney? Know what I mean?” 

 

Teresa was about to answer but she shook her head, “You probably don’t. Be careful with yours. There’s always a point where they get too invested into their work and forget all about the lonely wife waiting at home.”

 

_ And there it is,  _ Teresa thought. “I know exactly what you mean,” she murmured, putting on a sad expression. It wasn’t that hard. Talking about a fake marriage that never truly had was enough to make Teresa share her feelings of nostalgia. 

 

“What did you say that James did again?” Diana inquired, gazing at Teresa thoughtfully. 

 

For a minute, Teresa completely blanked. It came to her a moment to late, and she laughed awkwardly, pretending to blink in confusion. “Sorry, got lost in my own head. James is a lawyer, he works with Cole Van Awken.” 

 

“Right,” Diana breathed out, as if realization was dawning on her. “Ugh, that firm. I’d definitely keep an eye on James. I heard all about Teo  Aljarafe’s affair. His poor wife will never be the same.” 

 

Teresa nodded, trying to look worried, though the thought of worrying over James being faithful to her brought forth a glimmer of amusement. Teresa knew, just as well as anyone did, that the only woman James was truly loyal to was Camila Vargas. 

 

“It’s the same with Charles,” Diana whispered quietly before shaking her head. “Well not exactly the same, but every damn night now he’s staying late at work and making excuses so he doesn’t have to come home.” 

 

Teresa shook her head, placing her hand on Diana’s arms sympathetically. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than that, truly.” 

 

Diana blinked back tears for a moment before smiling shakily at Teresa, setting her hand over the one on her arm. “Thank you, Teresa.” 

 

“Don’t you ever think it may be something else though? Maybe an upcoming promotion or…” Teresa trailed off, hoping Diana would finish her thought but the woman shook her head. 

 

“There’s no room for promotions over there,” She said, rolling her eyes at the thought of Charles working hard enough for that. “I mean unless he’s trying to get into an entirely new field, the only explanation I could think of is an affair.” 

 

_ Unless he’s trying to get into an entirely new field.  _

 

* * *

 

When a guest stuck their head out onto the balcony and required Diana’s assistance the woman excused herself politely, leaving with a fleeting kiss against Teresa’s cheek. 

 

Teresa took the chance to text James, letting him know that her part was done and she had gotten the information Camila was interested in. 

 

**I’m done. Camila was right about Charles.**

 

His reply came moments later and she breathed out a sigh of relief. Despite how well it went Teresa was ready to go home. Putting on an act and getting herself tangled in this web of lies was making her dizzy. She felt like they were always moments away from getting caught, always on the verge of ruining everything they had worked for. It was like no matter what she did, she could never breathe peacefully, she was always sucking in nervous breaths of air and trying to hold it together. 

 

**We’re all good on my end. Meet me out front.**

 

* * *

Shutting the door behind her and thanking god that no one had stopped her on her way out, Teresa looked around the front, searching for James. He was waiting by the valet, making small talk with the man as he waited for the car, though Teresa knew he would much rather handle his own vehicle. 

 

“Hey,” She greeted softly, smiling politely at the man as she approached them. Another man was pulling up with their car and feeling both of their eyes on them, Teresa leaned into James’ side, not wanting to blow their cover when they were so close to going home. 

 

“Hey babe,” James murmured, the gravelly tone of his voice making her insides twist with an odd warmth, his arm slipping around her waist casually. 

 

“Here you go Mr. Surarez,” The man exiting the vehicle said, walking around the car and handing the keys to James.

 

As both of them thanked the men, James opened Teresa’s door for her, something he had been doing since the day they had met, all that time ago when she would refuse to meet his eyes, never willing to let him in. It was almost funny how much of a contrast the present was to their past, the affection they had shared all throughout the night. 

 

Both of them waited until the car had left the long winding driveway, turning onto the main road before they spoke at the same time, words clashing in the air.  

 

“That was-” 

 

“Well-” 

 

Pausing and exchanging looks, they both smiled softly, Teresa letting out an amused huff. “You go.” 

 

“I was just going to say we did a pretty solid job tonight,” James spoke, his voice low as he fingers tapped rhythmically against the steering wheel. “Don’t think anyone was suspicious.” 

 

“Diana loved us,” Teresa revealed, lips curling upward as she looked out the window, feeling James’ eyes on her, feeling like she could finally breathe now that they were alone. 

 

“I guess we’re pretty good at being fake married,” He answered, feeling something inside him soften at the sight of her, leaning against the seat with tired brown eyes and curls falling over her shoulders.

 

James felt that familiar tug he always felt around Teresa, the urge to tell her more, to open himself up. He wanted to tell her that it was so easy with her; that he almost felt a sense of pride, introducing her as his wife. Kissing her had felt like the most natural thing in the world, her lips melding against his seamlessly. That for a moment after, he had to force himself to pull away, reminding himself that it was just an act. 

 

The realization that they were back to being themselves was what stopped him. The moment they stepped back into the safehouse, they were back to being James Valdez and Teresa Mendoza, nothing but work associates. 

 

With that, James said nothing. They still had at least a half hour until they would get back, so for now he let the comfortable silence stretch out for the rest of their drive, letting himself sneak glances at her every so often. 

 

She could feel his gaze, the sense of his dark eyes on her making her stomach turn and heart leap. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but it felt like they had a sudden understanding, sitting beside each other and driving under the night sky. 

 

Like they each knew what the other was thinking, but swallowed the words down, knowing deep down that nothing would change. 


	2. aquí y ahora (here and now)

Despite everything that had happened- the insanity of his life since the moment she had been dragged into their dingey little warehouse in Dallas, turning his whole damn world upside down, James felt like somehow it had all led up to this.

 

Teresa had mystified James from the minute his eyes had met hers. He remembered expecting her to look fearful, remembered dreading it, because deep down the last thing he wanted to was watch some innocent girl crumble beneath Camila’s sharp words and withering stares. 

 

And somehow, Teresa hadn’t look scared. A trace of panic lingered in those doe eyes, but all James could see was her determination. She came out of nowhere, half as big as a fucking minute with ripped up clothes, a dead boyfriend and blood all over her. In the face of what was clearly going to result in her death, her delicate features had steeled and she had seemingly decided she was going to live. James didn’t know what it was she saw, or what motivated her to push forward. 

 

All he saw was her. 

 

After that everything was fast: sprinting through an airport, a flashy red dress, almost losing her over a maid, snitches coming back from the dead, almost dying in Bolivia, almost dying  _ every damn time _ they were together, as if fate was trying to tell them to get away from this life while they could. 

 

Somehow it all turned into Teresa taking charge of her own life, taking everything she had been taught and using it until she was twisting away from Camila. Just like that, everything James had ever known was changing. From the day he had taken out the man sent to Camila, he had been completely devoted to her. His loyalty never broke- it wavered, in the presence of the small woman who spoke softly and protected the people she cared for fiercely, but it never broke.

 

Just like that, they were standing in the middle of a darkened vacant bus, guns pointed at each other. James remembered the way her hand shook, words desperately spilling out of her mouth. Everything inside him had told him to go, to follow her anywhere in the world. To uncurl his fingers and detach himself from Camila, step away for good and let the warmth of Teresa’s smile twist away at his insides. 

 

It was one of the few times he didn’t listen to his gut instinct, and the mistake trailed behind him like a shadow until he finally made his way to Malta, tracking down Teresa and a incessantly protective Pote, slipping back into her life before he could even process what could happen. 

 

He knew it wouldn’t be long before Camila tracked her down successfully. The world that they had both submerged themselves into would never cease in pulling them back under waves of peril and uncertainty- every split second where he held her attention was like gasping for air, a second of clarity mixed with the trepidation of knowing that it wouldn’t last. 

 

Yet it all led up to this moment. 

 

Teresa curled up so close to him she was practically on his lap, their thighs pressed against one anothers. He sucked in a breath as he tilted his head, watching her carefully. Her soft brown eyes were peering up at him, fiercely vulnerable as they glimmered with unmasked affection. 

 

It made him ache in a way he had never felt, the way she looked at him now, like she couldn’t be bothered with fighting herself any longer. Like she couldn’t help but trace her lower lip with her tongue, inhaling gingerly with her head tilted towards him.

 

His eyes ran over her features quickly. He wanted to glance at her slowly, take in the wary wrinkles in the corners of her eyes, the rare glimmering smile that came out when someone really surprised her. 

 

But everything in their world was fast and right now James couldn’t bring himself to hesitate. He turned to face her and without a single world they met in the middle, melding together seamlessly, the feeling of Teresa’s gentle hands cupping his face only fueling his yearning to have her as close as possible. 

 

She was on her knees, almost straddling him as she slid closer, both of them leaning into each other, her delicate lips parting gently as James let his own hands travel from her face to her hair, tangling them into the soft curls he was so damn fond of. 

 

Nothing mattered right now- the way they had let each other down in the past, they way they moved from wary acquaintances to partners and then to enemies in the blink of an eye. It didn’t matter that Camila was on their trail and they were always at war, always speeding away from bullets and putting their lives on the line for one another. 

 

He had wanted this for so fucking long, and from the way Teresa was kissing him, as if there was no time for gentle first kisses, like she had to memorize every inch of him right now, never unearthing a need to pull away- it seemed she had been aching for all the same reasons. 

 

So he held her between his hands like she was the most precious thing in the world rather than a rising queenpin, breaking away to suck in shaky breaths of air, hazel eyes meeting warm brown ones, limbs intertwined and a feeling of finally being in the right place settling over both of them.

 

Neither James or Teresa had a clue how long it would last. Both could feel the foreboding sense that this would end the same way everything did: painfully, a parting worse than shooting at each other and sprinting out of an abandoned bus. 

 

But here and now, it was warm and consuming and turning into something that felt a lot like home. 

 

Here and now, it was more than enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on the delightful promo that latina magazine shared, showcasing a james x teresa kiss that melted my entire heart.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the jeresa drabble book! most requested fic i've ever gotten. this will be a series of one shots, none of them connected to each other. if you have requests, send them to me on tumblr (starryeyedauthor) and i'll get back to you as soon as i can. please take the time to leave a comment if you're reading! feedback keeps writers writing. xo


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